i'm tired, and yet i'm not going to bed yet. soon, i keep telling myself, soon.
i looked him up for a chat, hoping that we can just keep in touch.
he told me he went out with a girl because it was her birthday.
i don't know if it bothers me much, since i didn't feel hurt.
but i don't wanna find out either. i'm not prying deeper. i just don't want to think about it.
however, it did occur to me if he purposely told me what he did, in an attempt to make me move on, because he has. either way, i know what i'm doing. it's not that i've not moved on, it's just that i'm not looking for someone new yet.
relationships. why would i want em?
they screw you up anyway.
a friend once told me, "you're only saying that now, cause you don't have someone you like."
perhaps so.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Sorrow.
As i sit here, typing out words that just fill my head instantly; words that pour out, overflowing with desperation, eager to be expressed.
Hi, i'm Michelle and like most people, i'm sad. He told me it was too hard to continue. That distance and being in different timezones is an obstacle too hard to overcome.
Emotion vs. Practicality
Which would you choose? Knowing that it would never work out and yet you do not wish to let go. How can you even make a decision?
Yes, i cried, yelled into my pillow, and felt better. I tell myself it's time to move on because i know, that it is no use being upset for a long time over something like this.
Life moves on without you.
So choose; be stuck in the past, or move forward with life.
Hi, i'm Michelle and like most people, i'm sad. He told me it was too hard to continue. That distance and being in different timezones is an obstacle too hard to overcome.
Emotion vs. Practicality
Which would you choose? Knowing that it would never work out and yet you do not wish to let go. How can you even make a decision?
Yes, i cried, yelled into my pillow, and felt better. I tell myself it's time to move on because i know, that it is no use being upset for a long time over something like this.
Life moves on without you.
So choose; be stuck in the past, or move forward with life.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Now I'll Never Know
The car came to a halt just outside my house. I couldn't stop thanking him as his left hand moved swiftly to shift the gear into 'park'. I knew; the only reason i did so was to stall time. I wanted to be with him just a little longer, even if it were only seconds.
It was dark out, the streets empty with nothing to light it but the moon's pale shine. This was it, time to make my exit. I lingered a little longer, not wanting to leave just yet. Taking note of my body language, he told me i didn't have to. He wanted to grab something from my side of the car first.
I turned to face him, and he shot me a look, eyes full of expression, of hidden sorrow. Gazing into his deep eyes, i knew he wanted to tell me something. Before he could even speak, or me asking what it was, i was sucked back into reality, eyes opening to a sun lit room.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
LDRs
It's been a very long time since my last post, and reading it, i still remembered how devastated i was. How i'd cry for him every night. Ofcourse, it's been awhile now, and while i was missing, i've been looking for that happiness every step of the way.
Almost two and a half years, here i am now. Finally over him, i think.
2.40am on a Wednesday, i sit here, patiently waiting for someone to come online so we could chat. That patience is wearing thin i must admit. Only because i feel stupid for waiting up.
Anyone believes in LDRs? cause i never did before. Neither did i think an LDR would ever happen to me, but boom, here i am, liking this guy i only met for one day. He's 6 hours behind and it's almost impossible to find an appropriate time to converse.
If anybody, just anybody, out there have an LDR, tell me bout it (:
I guess, i'm done for now.
Monday, October 17, 2011
where emotions reign high
sometimes you wonder if you can do it? getting over someone you loved.
it shouldn't be so hard. stop thinking bout it and you'll be fine, but it's not that simple.
life's been pretty urghhhh for me. i just wanna rant here, where no one can see.
everything isn't going my way for me, infact it's been the opposite.
i try to seek happiness, heck, it's what i always wish for given the chance.
so i am kinda lost and confused.
relationships are a real pain. i want one, i dont want one.
sometimes you feel lonely, or just want someone you hold special to.
then again, i like being single. that freedom, that lightness you have.
no burden to weight you down, both mental and emotionally.
he is gone.
the one word that could really describe him to me is "drug".
he got me addicted, though i know he ain't good to me.
i can always find another one, the one who can treat me perhaps, better.
i cant think. i'll just stop here for now..
it shouldn't be so hard. stop thinking bout it and you'll be fine, but it's not that simple.
life's been pretty urghhhh for me. i just wanna rant here, where no one can see.
everything isn't going my way for me, infact it's been the opposite.
i try to seek happiness, heck, it's what i always wish for given the chance.
so i am kinda lost and confused.
relationships are a real pain. i want one, i dont want one.
sometimes you feel lonely, or just want someone you hold special to.
then again, i like being single. that freedom, that lightness you have.
no burden to weight you down, both mental and emotionally.
he is gone.
the one word that could really describe him to me is "drug".
he got me addicted, though i know he ain't good to me.
i can always find another one, the one who can treat me perhaps, better.
i cant think. i'll just stop here for now..
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Sunday, October 7, 2012
idek
i'm tired, and yet i'm not going to bed yet. soon, i keep telling myself, soon.
i looked him up for a chat, hoping that we can just keep in touch.
he told me he went out with a girl because it was her birthday.
i don't know if it bothers me much, since i didn't feel hurt.
but i don't wanna find out either. i'm not prying deeper. i just don't want to think about it.
however, it did occur to me if he purposely told me what he did, in an attempt to make me move on, because he has. either way, i know what i'm doing. it's not that i've not moved on, it's just that i'm not looking for someone new yet.
relationships. why would i want em?
they screw you up anyway.
a friend once told me, "you're only saying that now, cause you don't have someone you like."
perhaps so.
i looked him up for a chat, hoping that we can just keep in touch.
he told me he went out with a girl because it was her birthday.
i don't know if it bothers me much, since i didn't feel hurt.
but i don't wanna find out either. i'm not prying deeper. i just don't want to think about it.
however, it did occur to me if he purposely told me what he did, in an attempt to make me move on, because he has. either way, i know what i'm doing. it's not that i've not moved on, it's just that i'm not looking for someone new yet.
relationships. why would i want em?
they screw you up anyway.
a friend once told me, "you're only saying that now, cause you don't have someone you like."
perhaps so.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Sorrow.
As i sit here, typing out words that just fill my head instantly; words that pour out, overflowing with desperation, eager to be expressed.
Hi, i'm Michelle and like most people, i'm sad. He told me it was too hard to continue. That distance and being in different timezones is an obstacle too hard to overcome.
Emotion vs. Practicality
Which would you choose? Knowing that it would never work out and yet you do not wish to let go. How can you even make a decision?
Yes, i cried, yelled into my pillow, and felt better. I tell myself it's time to move on because i know, that it is no use being upset for a long time over something like this.
Life moves on without you.
So choose; be stuck in the past, or move forward with life.
Hi, i'm Michelle and like most people, i'm sad. He told me it was too hard to continue. That distance and being in different timezones is an obstacle too hard to overcome.
Emotion vs. Practicality
Which would you choose? Knowing that it would never work out and yet you do not wish to let go. How can you even make a decision?
Yes, i cried, yelled into my pillow, and felt better. I tell myself it's time to move on because i know, that it is no use being upset for a long time over something like this.
Life moves on without you.
So choose; be stuck in the past, or move forward with life.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Now I'll Never Know
The car came to a halt just outside my house. I couldn't stop thanking him as his left hand moved swiftly to shift the gear into 'park'. I knew; the only reason i did so was to stall time. I wanted to be with him just a little longer, even if it were only seconds.
It was dark out, the streets empty with nothing to light it but the moon's pale shine. This was it, time to make my exit. I lingered a little longer, not wanting to leave just yet. Taking note of my body language, he told me i didn't have to. He wanted to grab something from my side of the car first.
I turned to face him, and he shot me a look, eyes full of expression, of hidden sorrow. Gazing into his deep eyes, i knew he wanted to tell me something. Before he could even speak, or me asking what it was, i was sucked back into reality, eyes opening to a sun lit room.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
LDRs
It's been a very long time since my last post, and reading it, i still remembered how devastated i was. How i'd cry for him every night. Ofcourse, it's been awhile now, and while i was missing, i've been looking for that happiness every step of the way.
Almost two and a half years, here i am now. Finally over him, i think.
2.40am on a Wednesday, i sit here, patiently waiting for someone to come online so we could chat. That patience is wearing thin i must admit. Only because i feel stupid for waiting up.
Anyone believes in LDRs? cause i never did before. Neither did i think an LDR would ever happen to me, but boom, here i am, liking this guy i only met for one day. He's 6 hours behind and it's almost impossible to find an appropriate time to converse.
If anybody, just anybody, out there have an LDR, tell me bout it (:
I guess, i'm done for now.
Monday, October 17, 2011
where emotions reign high
sometimes you wonder if you can do it? getting over someone you loved.
it shouldn't be so hard. stop thinking bout it and you'll be fine, but it's not that simple.
life's been pretty urghhhh for me. i just wanna rant here, where no one can see.
everything isn't going my way for me, infact it's been the opposite.
i try to seek happiness, heck, it's what i always wish for given the chance.
so i am kinda lost and confused.
relationships are a real pain. i want one, i dont want one.
sometimes you feel lonely, or just want someone you hold special to.
then again, i like being single. that freedom, that lightness you have.
no burden to weight you down, both mental and emotionally.
he is gone.
the one word that could really describe him to me is "drug".
he got me addicted, though i know he ain't good to me.
i can always find another one, the one who can treat me perhaps, better.
i cant think. i'll just stop here for now..
it shouldn't be so hard. stop thinking bout it and you'll be fine, but it's not that simple.
life's been pretty urghhhh for me. i just wanna rant here, where no one can see.
everything isn't going my way for me, infact it's been the opposite.
i try to seek happiness, heck, it's what i always wish for given the chance.
so i am kinda lost and confused.
relationships are a real pain. i want one, i dont want one.
sometimes you feel lonely, or just want someone you hold special to.
then again, i like being single. that freedom, that lightness you have.
no burden to weight you down, both mental and emotionally.
he is gone.
the one word that could really describe him to me is "drug".
he got me addicted, though i know he ain't good to me.
i can always find another one, the one who can treat me perhaps, better.
i cant think. i'll just stop here for now..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)